


There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

by SolarEscapist



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Minor Character(s), Other, Platonic Relationships, Songfic, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 15:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarEscapist/pseuds/SolarEscapist
Summary: “Take me out tonight...”Jeongin just wanted to run away, be free, party... but now he’s trapped in a car with Chan, not ready to face his problems and he never wants to go back home.Maybe his home is not a place, but a person.





	There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’m still new at writing so bare with me!! 
> 
> This fic was heavily inspired by “There is a light that never runs out” by The Smiths (if you couldn’t tell) which is one of my favorite songs. 
> 
> Also it was based of personal experience, I got the idea for this fic when I was partying w some friends. I have a friend who is completely disgusted by alcohol and that night she told me why (I decided to change it in the story). And me, being underage, she felt responsible for me getting drunk and smoking and stuff. I truly love her a lot and she’s just so caring and smart. So I decided to secretly dedicate this to her for being such a nice person. 
> 
> Hope you like it!!

The comfortable silence of a long car ride turned uncomfortable as the rain began hitting the windows. It was a windy summer night and Jeongin, didn’t want to go home yet. 

 

Filled with anxiety, he begins to tap his fingers against the window, the soft sound blending with the rain. He turns his head a little to see Chan driving. He looks so so angry, but Jeongin feels safe for the first time in a while. 

 

Only their faint breathing could be heard making Jeongin sleepy again. As he was closing his eyes, Chan decided to speak. 

 

“Why did you do that?”

 

A simple question. Really. Even a kid could understand it. But the teen could not find an answer at the moment. Why did he do it? Well, there were plenty of reasons. Firstly he felt like he needed to-

 

“Jeongin, answer me.” The older said. Never taking his eyes from the road. Chan sounded seriously angry this time. 

 

“I d-don’t know?” He replied. It was a dumb answer, but better than staying silent for another half an hour. 

 

“Then why did Minho had to call me saying you were party-hopping alone, drinking and smoking?” He stated bluntly. 

 

Fuck, Jeongin hadn’t thought of that. Of course his popular hyung would have been invited to at least one of those parties. He was going to kill Minho. 

 

“For god’s sake Innie! You are only 17! Do you know how dangerous is that? You could have gotten in serious trouble if Minho hadn’t called me.”

 

The clock on his wrist marked 1:36 am. They had been driving for at least 40 minutes now. Jeongin was pretty proud of himself. He had managed to get really far for his neighborhood only by walking, well running but that wasn’t important. 

 

Deep down he totally had a reason for what he did, he was tired of the routine of hating himself each day, of hating his parents, of hating his house, hating the stress of life. He wanted to run away, to feel alive. He needed to see people who were young and alive just like him, he wanted to see dancing, it didn’t matter where his feet will take him but he just wanted to see life.

 

_To feel alive._

 

But why does everything that supposedly kills you, makes you feel so alive? 

 

It wasn’t his first time drinking or smoking, Chan should know better. He maybe was a baby in the older’s eyes, but he was old enough to make his own decisions, right? 

 

He knew his hyungs are overprotective and don’t get him wrong, he loves them. But maybe they don’t need to find out about the whole situation. Maybe if he just hides it really good and-

 

“I’m dropping you home-“

 

“No!” Jeongin quickly interrupted him. “Please, I don’t want to go home.”

 

“Why? What’s wrong?” Chan parked the car in the now empty parking lot of a convenience store a few blocks down from his home. With a concerned glance he began to speak again. 

 

“Jeongin-ah you know you can tell me anything right? I’m not angry, I’m just-“ He took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m just so worried about you- about this!”

 

The black haired teen could see some sparkly tears forming in Chan’s eyes. Fuck, had he seriously messed up that badly? 

 

“You’ve been so distant from us recently, Felix says you ignore him now, Hyunjin thinks you are angry at him and he won’t stop crying, and now Minho calls me saying you were getting drunk. You, my youngest. Putting yourself in danger like that. Something has to be wrong, right?”

 

Silence swallowed both of them, leaving only the faint rain and some cars far away speaking. 

 

“I don’t like alcohol.” Chan said quietly. It was almost a whisper. “It messed up my entire life. I h-hate it. My father was an alcoholic a-and when he left me and my mom I was still too young to know that it was not him speaking or hitting me, it was the alcohol.” 

 

“Was it your first time drinking?” The blond asked. His tired eyes casted directly at Jeongin’s.  
The teen just lowered his head and whispered a faint ‘no’. 

 

Now Jeongin could understand. Chan was like his older brother, and now he made him angry and left him feeling guilty for his own actions. 

 

 _“I don’t want to go home hyung. I never want to go home.”_ He slowly lifted his head to look straight at the older. _“I don’t have a home anymore hyung-“_

 

The realization finally hit Jeongin, he was homeless. He had ran away from the hell he called ‘home’, from his toxic parents, from his abusive brother, from his routine.  
This was his first night as a stray and without nowhere to go he decided to escape using alcohol and cigarettes just as always, just as ‘they’ did. He blames his parents for passing down their addictions to their son. 

 

He couldn’t even pack his things, he just had a beaten up backpack with a jacket, food, stolen money and some loose cigarettes here and there. He wouldn’t be able to go and pack more things because _it’s their home now, and he’s welcome no more._

 

Chan started the car again and went to the opposite direction of Jeongin’s house. A weight lifted from the youngest shoulders and he felt himself relax. 

 

“Where do you want to go then?” Chan asked. It was 2:17 am and the night was young and long and they were trying to feel alive. 

 

_“Take me anywhere, I don’t care. I truly don’t care.”_

 

And with that, the older sped up, running under the red lights since the streets were dead and there was no one but the two of them. Time felt frozen, Jeongin never wanted this moment to end. Just two friends- no, Chan was his brother, driving through the night, running away. Maybe it was the remaining alcohol in the younger’s system but he felt as if he was flying. 

 

If he were to die right now, he wouldn’t mind. He doesn’t have a future to look forward to, he doesn’t have a house. He just has Chan and this moment. 

 

And if a truck or a bus would crash into them, to die by Chan’s side would be a pleasure- a privilege.  
Is he trying to make sense of his dark thoughts by turning them into dramatized romantic fantasies?  
Yes, probably. 

 

But still, he wishes to die during this moment of joy, without any of the anxiety or anger that usually dominates his life.

 

He could recognize some of the buildings, they were probably near Chan’s and Woojin’s place.  
Woojin will kill him when he finds out what he’s been doing, so Jeongin decides to enjoy the remaining seconds of this moment. 

 

His eyelids feel heavy, he turns his head to Chan and then to the window. The raining has stopped. He sees from the corner of his tired eyes as Chan turns on the radio. 

 

Maybe he does want to go home, but his ‘home’ is not a place, it is a person. 

 

He finally feels safe being home. 

 

And as his eyes closes, he listens to the faint melody of the song. 

 

_  
“There is a light and it never goes out,_

_There is a light and it never goes out,_

_There is a light and it never goes out...”_

**Author's Note:**

> This was hard to write lol. If y’all are interested from where I got the idea please read the notes at the top! :)


End file.
